This was a hard page for me to get through, yet it was an important story that I wanted to tell. I've done some pages about my son's prematurity and our time in the NICU, but I haven't done a new one in years. Last week I was watching the Discovery channel and they had a show on about micropreemies. I remembered that there was a time before Nico was born that I would flinch at the site of a premature baby and I would quickly flip the channel. It's ironic how life throws challenges at you that you think that you could never handle - but you do. And you come out a different, stronger person in the end.
I know just how lucky we are that Nico survived the NICU with no long-lasting effects. I watched way too many babies pass away during our two months in the hospital to take that for granted. The experience though, was horrific and it changed me. It's a very big part of my life's story.
The journaling reads:
There was a time when I could not stand to look at a sick or premature baby. I remember having to change the channel anytime those type of stories were on the news or on TLC. I just couldn’t watch. The image of those tiny fetal looking babies made me flinch. How ironic that I would become a mom at just 28 weeks gestation to a tiny, sick, 2-pound boy. I found myself right smack in the middle of a nightmare that seemingly would never end.
And so I watched.
I watched a respirator breathe for him because he couldn’t.
I watched as all of his little veins collapsed from too many IVs. They put one in his forehead.
I watched as he turned blue one day because of apnea.
I watched a team of doctors rush in to save him at 3 weeks old when he developed sepsis and almost died.
I watched as he developed a hole in his heart.
I watched when an IV leaked a caustic substance onto his skin and burned a big hole in his forearm.
For 58 days I watched my boy struggle and suffer. I couldn’t change the channel, because this was now my life. I didn’t flinch anymore and this became my normal.
Okay, so on to the details of the layout - almost all of the paper, the trees and the cloud are the Quite Contrary line by My Mind's Eye (love their paper). I made the "life" banner with some twine, cardstock, and tiny rub-ons from Doodlebug. The title is from Making Memories (cork) and Thickers (aqua).